Monday, March 21, 2005

Any odd day

Nothing new or interesting since I last posted. Ok, there was one new thing which was that I had a haircut! I was previously planning to wear longer hair. I had waited some 2 and a half months (without a haircut), and as my hair grow pretty quickly my hair had extended until they amlost covered my ears! But now, they are short cropped, kinda like those military guys you see in the movies. I never had this kind of hairstyle before but I love change.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Utterance

Though I haven't posted anything for almost a month I eally don't have anything new to say. I try everyday to study for my exams that are fast approaching. I typed some essays for the English, each being almost 700 words(!) and that too only an OPENNING of some even longer article or story. Sheesh!
Besides studies I have stopped 'guiding' one of my sisters because she says she doesn't want me to interfere in her life. Did I tell you she is 11 yeas old. Talk about rebels. I mean I try to help my mum manage my two sisters by keeping an eye on them and...well...acting ike their parent. I know, I know I ain't supposed to do the ordering but I can't help it. I can be domineering at times I agree. But I am trying to make her regret her decision and hopefully she'll be sorry.
I have normal contacts with Iris again. She's currently very depressed as she too has to repeat to of her exams to continue university. Well, this is where I come in because I really love helping out of problems. Sometimes I am the 'no problem' kinda guy. I hate having problems and always try to smoother them out soon. I hate getting into tension and depression. I love life with all its troubles because they make it exciting for me.
There is one problem though; sometimes i can be too carefree and become a bit careless. But still, its no problem.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Comments Appreciated

If you've read the First Drift then you'll know that I am new in writing blogs. I previously never possessed a diary or journal (as you might have discovered from the length of my first post..hehe) and I thought I'd just give this blog a go. But I ain't sure how I am doing. I'd love to get some comments from people for improvements and suggestions or advices. I really want to improve this blog whenever and in whatever way I can. So please who ever is reading this jus drop in a line or two. Thanx

Subtle

Iris didn't call me today either. She should have according to my dream. Oh well, so much for dreamings being true! I could study much as I was busy 'entertaining' a kid (my mothers friend had visited unexpectedly). I tried writing an essay for the English AS exam I will be appearing for and man, I haven't seen anything so impossible. I had to describe some horror scene setting in 900 words. I've never written a story more than 700 words (but right now I am writing a story thats exceeded 1100 words and is still half way through). Whatever, I know I can pull through it somewhow.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Carries On and On

Well Iris didn't call today either. Today is the 14th day since I last talked, chatted or smsed her. I know it seems crazy to go after a girl who isn't interested in you and who already has a boyfriend but I can't help it. I ain't gonna give up that easy. I ain't a quitter (at least thats what I think).
There wasn't anything really new today except that I changed my hair style for fun. I combed 3/4th of my hair to one side while the rest to the other. Kinda like in the 70s I guess. I studied 4 hours today. I hope I can get good results this time cuz I still ain't in the university yet! Iris is in the University of Sharjah since September. She too had her share of problems but somehow her high school sent some special request. Me on the other hand was stuck and have to wait till Sept this year. Btw, Iris is doing Pharmacy (though I personally detest medicines and prefer wait for my headaches and sprains to heal themselves, you know, I like to 'train' my white blood cells. They will be quite independent if they learn it the hard way..lol).

No Sign Yet

Today afternoon I took a nap where I dreamt that Iris calls me!!! I was nervous and was pissed because she hadn't called for the past 14 days. She was very sorry and then I heard the door bell. I woke up startled, someone was at the door. Although Iris doesn't love me (though I do) and (i feel) doesn't give a damn about me, I can't stop thinking about her. I keep my cell close to me all day, hoping she will call. But I also keep convincing myself that I don't love her anymore and try to forget her. Sheeesh!

Friday, February 25, 2005

Serene Fog

My mum asked me to try and talk to my dad (we have a very cold relationship). As we were going to Abu Dhabi (1hr and 45mins away) for some Ministry Attestation I needed. I did talk. I made up conversations. Talked about everything from politics to cars to personal life. I can't say I enjoyed it but i wasn't a bad experience. i can tell you I have travelled this to Abu Dhabi and back again without saying a single word! I did it for my mum (it makes her happy).

When mum scolding me that day for not studying, dad (as always the only time he says sumthing helping her remember my other faults) told me to get a hair cut (I've not had a hair cut for approx. 2.5 months)! He says boys who wear long hair aren't the type who study!! I am a geek. I never wear anything thats 'in'. No fancy clothes. I love dark colours.

But now I wanna change. Not to drastic. I got my glasses changed to half-rimmed onces from those harry potter types recently. I am currently wanting to wear long hair, only till the shoulders maybe. Plus I wanna get firmer body muscles and loose some weight as well. But, the only time my dad speaks is when he doesn't like something I do and mum is already pissed at me!! No way man! I ain't doing anything HE wants. Anywayz, the rest is all OK. Btw, I didn't communicate with Iris (my female-friend) since 12 days!! A new record!!! The previous record was 9 days. 99% of the time its me calling or SMSing or chatting. I wanted to see how long will it take her to initiate. Haven't heard from her since I last called. I hope she does soon.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Sway away

Today I have 2 start studying for my June GCE exams (I know it's late but I wasn't sure what subjects 2 appear for). I'll be appearing for Physics and English. This will be the fourth(!) time I am doing Physics. As I have previously done English Literature in IGCSE/O-levels I hope I'll find this one not so difficult. My mum has asked me 2 try and 'repair' my relationship with my dad again. Frankly, I am getting sick of trying. Iris (my girlfriend) had told me yesterday that I was doing 2 much 4 her! My frequent SMSs (where I tell her how much I love her) are a bit 2 much!..lol. I don't get it, if u do 2 little for them, they complain. But why complain if u do 2 much?There's this worm (its not like a grub for those unfamiliar with the term) in my computer with a name neomonap23.exe. It just keeps on eating up my resources. I did stop the process from the tast manager but i cant get the file location. My Dialup just got slower. Sometimes webpages stop openning at all. the taskmanager can only be seen in the system tray but isnt appearing elsewhere. Whatever, I still enjoy fixing these kinda problems but sumtimes i feel 'they' enjoy it even more! Hehe. Luckly I've got 2 operating systems, XP and 98 so when 1 of them causes any probelm I use the other 2 fix it! Anywyaz wish me luck for my exams everyone!Btw, I am still plannin 2 do Interior Designing (i haven't changed my mind yet!)

First Drift

Greetingz 2 all who read!
As this is my first blog post, I would like 2 initially apologise for any spelling and grammar mistakes i make. I ain't sure how 2 start as I have no previous experience regarding bloggings and journal writings. But as this is my blog, there r no specific rules here (except for the fact that there is gonna be no foul language or any type of racist remarks from me and hopefully from others who, if they want, email me or sumthin).

My life has gone through many ups and downs (just like all most everyone's has) within all aspects. I initiated blog 2 help vent my anger a bit concerning many problems I've faced and 2 get a feeling that there is sum1 listening 2 me. Ok, b4 I really begin I'd like 2 make sum things clear about myself. I am a person with a moderate temper but sumtimes sum people just make me mad. I don't become violent nor aggressive but maybe more assertive in a sense. I am a no-nonsense kinda guy, though sumthimes i like 2 let it all loose. My blog will seem very very boring 2 many people (or maybe everyone!), but I'll try my best 2 show my humourous side as we go along.
Now I will summarise the events of my life as much as possible. Don't worry, I'll keep it pretty short but i just wanna give u a drift of my life. Ok firstly, I currently live with my parents (i am 18 thought) and my two sisters. My sisters are 15 and 11. I get along well with all of them (though I do have regular quarrels with my little sis, but i guess thats normal, huh?). My parents are good people (at least in front of others). I am very close 2 my mother but at times I feel there is no one 2 listen and understand me. My sister whose 15 sumtimes listens and understands but she's still 2 young and gets fed-up pretty fast. I have no relationship with my dad whatsoever. I'll tell u sumthin without exaggeration, I speak almost 1, yes only 1, medium-sized sentence with him in 2 or 3 days. So thats like almost 180 sentences a year!! I have tried 2 talk more but he only replies and talks when either I say sumthin or when he has 2 scold me! Most of the time he asks my mum 2 tell me 2 do sumthin he wants me 2 do. At times he asks my sisters 2 do sumthin the he knows only i can do, so that my sisters can ask me 2 do it when they can't!! I find this pathetic. My mum confides in me mostly, so there were times when she wants 2 mend our relationship. If u ask me, i find that it's gone so cold that it can't be warmed again.
About my school life (I graduated last year), it was all pretty well. I have few but precious friends. As I am of a non-violent type of person I had difficulty adjusting in my school that consisted of nasty bullies and evil-minded freaks! Ok, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration statement but its close 2 the truth. I studied in my last school for 8 years, from the 5th grade until high-school graduation. I had a crush on a girl in my class. A huge crush! But as coeducation is not common in my country, I really didn't get 2 see her often. My crush was a little...ummm...cheap lets say. For all those years when i had the crush, i didn't have the guts 2 speak 2 the girl, and that 2 for 8 whole years!!! See what i mean when i say cheap? She (lets call her Iris. Btw, its not her real name) on the other hand had no idea about this. Absolutely nothing. During last final 2 years, we had mixed classes. I really enjoyed those..lol. Sumhow, near the end of the year I needed 2 copy notes I had missed because i was absent. And sumhow, i couldn't get it from any guy but i discovered that Iris lived very close 2 my house. Only 30secs away!! Can u believe my luck. Ok, so I prepared for 2 weeks approx of what I would say and how I'd ask! (As Iris is really beautiful I was nervous because I am kinda the geek in my class). But I did go 2 her house on the last day and talked 2 her for half an hour and borrowed her book as well. She was the first girl I had talked so long (had never done it b4) and my first female friend. Long story short, we became friends. But id like 2 add v became friends because I found sum1 so sweet in nature as her and sum1 who'd listen 2 me when I talk. She has repeated things I said in several converstaions which I know no1 else does. As I had four friends previously she became the fifth (but i had 2 'discard' one of the other guys because he wasnt my kind). The first time I went 2 her was on the 5th of May. In September, she started university while I had 2 redo sum exams. Also I fell in love with her in the same month! Almost within 5 months!! I thought i'd te.ll her which i did. She took it well but revealed 2 me about her boyfriend who she loves! I was heart-broken but I ain''t a person 2 give up that easy. So i am still her friend and i still send her love cards and SMSs which she doesn't mind. Ok, I know I said 2 much about Iris but I had 2 spill it all out. Cuz i have no 1 who'd listen 2 me and hear my serious and petty problems (except her).
Changing lanes, I have had major confusion about my career choice. As i am a person who likes 2 take things easy and not easily depressed this was a serious obstacle. When I was a kid I wanted 2 be a Rocket Engineer then a Karate sumthin then a Pilot, Marine Biologist, FBI. detective and finally, an Astronomer! In my 11th standard I was still obsessed with Astronomy until I discovered that u need 3 PhDs in, namely Physics, Maths and Computer Science!! That washed away my hope (as a ain't a very brilliant student in the first place). Though I can't remember any time where my dad played a major role in my life, here he suggested me Aeronautical Engineering as an option. I hadn't hear about it b4 but was curious when he told me it was about sum 'aircraft engineering'. I was never really into planes but I had seriously considered his opinion. Throughout the year and until my graduation I was just waiting 2 become an Aeronautical Engineer. As there was only 1 university offering that course, I had a tough competition ahead. I 'tried' 2 work hard in the final year but my grades in Physics weren't adequate. My Maths is good though. I repeated Physics twice but in vain. I started considering other options after my faliure. Thus more career opions became evident. I then considered Law (cuz i am pretty good at arguing for the sake of it), Psychology (I love this kinda stuff, I am alwayz analysing my situations and people. I am a self-proclaimed Manipulator) and Hospitality Management (it just seemed interesting. Frankly speaking, business is not my cup of tea).
Finally 2day as I type, I have a smile on my face cuz I have a transparent idea of what I am really gonna do. Its gotta be Interior Designing. As alwayz, I have done my homework. I researched about all careers b4 deciding. I fel it has almost everything I've ever wanted. I'd be studying Colour and Design Psychology, using Maths skills, Persuation (my speciality), Innovation (i am modestly innovative as people around me say) and Computers (graphical designing and stuff). I'll cope with the business part as I think i can manage it.

Now I know this is a really long post and many of u might not read much of it, but as i said a just want 2 be heard cuz am an introvert. The only 4 friendsI have r the people i trust (besides my mum of course) with my life. Yes, i am a bit skeptical about trust amongst people i am surounded with. I think i've said 2 much 4 a day but the start was what was really daunting. Since I have pulled it through I hope 2 post whenever I find enuff time and content. Please feel free 2 send me suggestions or comments as i am very open 2 'healthy' criticism and 'constructive' dialogue. I am sure sum people can tell me what information I should have added or removed from here as I still am new 2 this kinda thing. As my life is full of mostly uninteresting things I apologise 2 have wasted your time.

Thanx 4 bearing with me

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The Rosetta Edition

     

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